I said something ugly to my daughter. And yes, it included a mild cuss word.
Now, before you go all “judgy” on me… let me explain.
Apparently I’m in a new mom club. The kind of club that requires you to have a certain age child. Then you magically enter into this club without warning, without participation, and defiantly without permission.
It’s called the teen years.
One minute the world is fine and the next it’s full on insanity. The other day we had a little disagreement (and by little I mean big) and let’s just say we ALL failed miserably with our reactions.
ALL of US! Me included hence the “Why are you acting like a bi$#ch?” phrase came out of my christian mouth before I could even stop it.
I know… I regretted it as soon as I said it. But my buttons were pushed! How could she act so sweet one minute and a raving lunatic the next?
Apologies were made, internet and everything taken away except for the necessities for an entire weekend and praying that we figure out a way to handle it better the next time. Or hope there’s not a next time. But in this new club I’ve unwillingly entered into, I’m hearing it will happen again. And again.
As I talk to a few other parents almost as if I was in a confessional….… I realized this club comes with responsibility. LOTS of responsibility! Almost more than even when she was a baby.
A mom club of pre-teens and teenagers. Things that you don’t hear about until your at that stage. Or I guess until you are ready to hear it.
As I talk to other moms I realize this is TOTALLY normal. I also realize that some of it’s out of my control. I must pray like a crazy women and do my best to raise her without saying too many cuss words in the process.
In the same week Pixie comes down with a fever. It’s so strange to me how our instincts can go from anger and frustration to a sense of superwomen urgency to make sure our kids are okay. And I know that won’t change as she gets older.
I think of my parents and how no matter what is going on in there lives… if one of their babies are hurt, sick, upset, they will move heaven and earth to make it better.
And then that leads me to think about God’s love for us. Man, if we have this kind of love for our kids… I can’t imagine the kind of love, grace, and forgiveness he has for us.
For many Sunday’s I really struggled to go to church consistently. It was a challenge. Whether I was blaming it on a late night paint party or just the laziness of wanting to sleep in. I really prayed for discipline and obedience to want to raise Pixie in the church. AND needing that weekly devoted time myself was a must.
As we started going more consistently Pixie would request that I draw on her hand. I would draw our favorite cities or any design that came to mind and then one Sunday I started drawing takeaways from the message.
This message was REALLY good! It was all about families. Fighting for your family.
Fight for your marriage.
This particular day Pixie and Bobby put their hand in my lap both wanting a turn at today’s message. So this picture is what I drew.
My long winded point is…. The enemy wants to destroy our families. He likes when I say the wrong words to my hormonal pre-teen. He wants me to loose my cool.
But God wants us to fight for our family! He wants us to love our family. Yes, discipline is a part of that for sure, but He wants us to discipline with love.
Be intentional. As Chip Gaines says in his book Capital Gaines “It’s us against the world”. He was referring to how he always felt as if it was him and Jo against the world. And always knowing at least one person in this world has your back no matter what… that you could get through anything.
I love having Bobby by my side especially when we are going through some changes in our lives. I love knowing that God loves my family and wants us to always fight for it.
Another point the preacher man made was “Love Your Kids Dad” I LOVE this! He mentioned how we can have a huge impact on our kids just by loving their dad.
AND… Surround yourself with scripture. Always focus on what we can do better. How can I be a better parent? How can I be intentional as a mom, wife, sister, friend, daughter.
So… here we sit. In a new season of life.
Tons of fun stuff happening and tons of CRAZY stories that I can’t even share on a blog! (And I overshare a lot!)
So whether you have entered this new club or not… know it’s out there and defiantly start praying WAY in advance for what’s to come. It is a wonderful yet very unpredictable time of life and I’m so thankful for all the moments even if it does invite a few cuss words from time to time.
Check out Capital Gaines ebook here! It’s a good one! You can get it here: https://amzn.to/2E12cm4
I am on the tail end of the club. My son is 19. I have learned lots and like you, beat myself up for saying the wrong thing or raising my voice. A really good book that I found helpful is Brainstorm, The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel Siegel, M.D. It is written for parents and for adolescents and can be read together (if your teen is willing) ????
I will check it out!!! Thank you so much! And here you are living to tell the tale at the end of the teen years.