Yes, I said it…. I didn’t like my baby.
But before you get all crazy… read the whole story. 
⬇️⬇️⬇️
Happy birthday to my sweet 12 year old!
I can’t believe Pixie is about to be a teenager! It seems like yesterday she was crying non-stop as a colicky baby… who I loved, but honestly didn’t like so much at the time. 
????
Yes, I said it. I didn’t like my baby. 
????
16 hours a day of crying for over 6 
????months straight was driving me insane!
My hubby and I typed up a Matrimonial Saving Schedule where everything was planned out TO THE minute on who would have Pixie at what time so that we wouldn’t get divorced or bail on each other the first year OF PARENTHOOD.
Either we weren’t listening or no one told us (I’m pretty sure it was the first one) that being a parent would change everything!
Bobby and I were married 9 years before I got pregnant with Pixie. Our life was on our schedule! I worked full time and went to school full time and thought I would throw parenting in there like one of my jobs or hobbies!
Boy was I awakened! Like for a whole year! 
????
We felt robbed of the perfect birthing experience having an emergency c-section and Pix in the NICU, we didn’t see her for hours.
I always hear women talk about their sleeping through the night babies and how breast feeding was so easy and oh what a joy. I just smile. Keeping my story to a minimum not to bring a damper on the joys of motherhood.
Then I smile again….Because I can.
No, seriously… a week after having Pixie my face stopped working and I had to wear an eye patch because my left eye wouldn’t blink!
After finding out it was Bells Palsey, my family does what we do best…tons of pirate jokes and asking me to try and whistle where among the top responses and requests.
Christmas that year was met with a surprise deck of cards with my face on all 52 cards trying to smile. Oh and a mug to make sure my face was imprinted forever. 
????????????
So with a crying baby, a face that stopped working, forced to bottle feed for all the steroids the emergency room put me on, and no sleep for almost a year… we called it the zombie year and by the grace of God managed to keep our little Pixie alive as we tried to figure out how to parent.
For the moms out there with sleep through the night babies…. count your blessings and enjoy your sleep. I pray all new moms have the sleeping through the night babies! 
????????????
I know… you are thinking I’m the worst parent in the world right now. 
????
I’m writing truth to those new moms out there that may be thinking PARENTING IS HARD!!!
Yes, it is hard, but SO SO WORTH it! ????
Even if they are colicky. 
????
I would do it all over in a heartbeat!
I had no idea how much I would fall in love with this little girl that we named Pixie.
I had no idea that the same girl that cried for hours straight would also make me laugh everyday!
I had no idea that the little baby who wouldn’t smile would be the most joyful child I’ve ever met.
I had no idea that she would turn out to be a WAY better person than Bobby and I combined. (The girl keeps a tab on our swearing and calls us out every time!!!)
I had no idea she would make me feel so much love and so much excitement about life!
I had no idea that this baby would be the best thing that has ever happened to Bobby and I.
The biggest gift I’ll ever receive.
The greatest person I’ve ever met.
I’m so thankful to be her mom.
Next year she turns 13 and I turn 40. I feel like it’s a big year for both of us.
I’m so excited to be there for all her ups and downs…. EVEN if there is some crying involved. ????
????
☺️????
Love you so much Pixie Rain! Happy Birthday to the most wonderful person I know!
