Back when we lived on a golf course, our house had the best seat in town for people watching.
Every morning I’d grab my coffee, sit by the window, and watch grown men have every human emotion possible over one tiny white ball. Men kicking trees. Clubs flying through the air. Pretty much everything in between.
One morning, a man stepped up and hit his ball straight into the trees. And he LOST it.
It was a full “come to Jesus” moment. He cursed the ball. He yelled at the sky. You could watch him decide, right there on the grass, that life was against him.
A few minutes later, another guy walked up to take his shot. His ball lands perfectly, straight down the middle.
And his friend throws both arms out wide toward the sky and SCREAMS at the top of his lungs.
“YOU’RE A MAN AMONGST MEN!”
I look at Pixie. Pixie looks at me. We completely lose it.
“He’s a man amongst men? What the heck does that even mean?”
That guy hopped in his golf cart and drove off feeling like a million bucks.
We laughed about it for days. But it stuck with me for a different reason too. Same course. Same game.
Two completely different experiences.
One man had a friend next to him yelling that he was amazing. The other man’s loudest voice was his own, and it was telling him the whole world was out to get him.
If you’re building any kind of creative business, you need to think hard about which voice is standing next to you.
Two Hosts, One Saturday Night
The difference between those golfers had nothing to do with the course. It had everything to do with the words being said out loud around them.
Paint parties work the exact same way. Picture two hosts. Same Saturday night. Same eight painters around the table.
Host one gets home and texts a friend. “Only eight tonight.” Her friend writes back, “Ugh, that’s rough. Are you sure this is worth it?”
Host two gets home and texts a friend. “Only eight tonight.” Her friend writes back, “Eight people spent their Saturday night painting with YOU. Tell me everything!”
Same party. Same paycheck. One of those hosts posts her next date Monday morning. The other one starts wondering if she should quit. Words are powerful. The people you let close to you get to say a LOT of words into your business, whether they mean to or not.
Your Brand New Idea Needs a Bodyguard
This lesson took me a while to learn.
Some people will be your biggest fans while you’re struggling. Then things start working, and the cheering gets a little quieter. Sometimes jealousy creeps in. That stung the first few times it happened to me.
There’s also a pattern in how people react when you share a new dream.
Some shrug it off with a nonchalant “That’s cool,” and then tell you what they did yesterday. Others meet it with fear, negativity, overwhelm, or a quick change of subject.
For years, that bothered me. Now I make a quiet mental note, and I’m more careful about who I let into that part of my life.
Here’s how that looks for a host:
- Share the finished thing with everybody. The flyer, the party photos, the sold out post. Put it everywhere.
- Share the early idea with a few. That “what if I hosted a pumpkin painting night at the farm stand” idea is fragile. It’s half built. It doesn’t need a vote from your whole group chat yet.
- Don’t argue with the shrug-it-off people. Some people are just nonchalant about your ideas. They aren’t being mean. Big ideas simply don’t light them up the way they light you up. Love them anyway. Invite them to your parties. Just don’t hand them the blueprint.
- Don’t make anyone carry your excitement for you. It’s your dream. Expecting someone else to be as fired up as you are puts a lot on them.
The Two Friends Every Host Needs
These are the friends I’ve noticed make my ideas shine brighter. I’d recommend finding your own.
The first friend is someone who turns ideas into plans.
You share something wild, and they don’t ask why. They start asking how. Before you know it, they’re looking up vendors and making a list.
They’re organized, and they always have your back. Every host needs somebody who hears a big idea and reaches for a clipboard.
The second friend is someone who lets you talk it all the way out.
They might not agree with every idea, but they listen anyway. Sometimes the idea calms down after you sleep on it, and that’s fine. In the moment, they let you have it. And if something doesn’t work out, they’re the one saying, “You don’t know until you try.”
Look at what the second friend DOESN’T do, though. They don’t say yes to everything.
A yes man agrees with every idea so nobody has to feel awkward. A believer might think your idea needs some work and still believe YOU can pull it off. Surround yourself with believers.
Here’s a quick check on your own circle:
- Who’s the first person you text when a party goes great?
- Who do you text when one goes sideways?
- Who actually helps you DO the thing?
- Who lets you think out loud without shutting it down?
- Who leaves you feeling tired every time you share good news?
If some of those answers come up empty, that’s okay. Friendships take time and work to build. Start with one person and nurture it.
Other hosts make great clipboard friends, by the way. They already know what a Saturday setup takes, and they won’t flinch when you say you need forty canvases by Friday.
Check Who’s Riding in Your Own Cart
Let’s go back to the guy in the trees.
I have no idea who he was golfing with that day. But I know who was talking the loudest. It was him. And every word out of his mouth was telling him life was against him.
Sometimes the person dragging you into the Suck Zone is you.
That voice loves to show up at paint parties. A painter’s sky turns out a little green. The turnout is smaller than you hoped. Your easel tips over mid demo and everybody sees it. And a little voice whispers, “See? Real hosts don’t have nights like this.”
They do. Every single one of us does.
Here’s your homework for the next hard night:
- Start a “wins” album on your phone. Every time a painter says they had a blast, a guest rebooks, or someone tags you in their canvas photo, screenshot it and save it to that album. When that little voice starts talking, open the album before you open your mouth.
- Talk to yourself like your biggest cheerleader would. Picture your favorite person watching your whole party. What would they cheer about? Say THAT to yourself on the drive home.
Go Be Somebody’s Man Amongst Men
The screaming friend didn’t hit that shot. He didn’t have to. All he did was notice something good and say it out loud.
You get to be that person at every single party.
Walk the room while they paint. Point out the good stuff out loud. “Look at those clouds!” “Okay, that tree is my favorite one in here.” The people who walked in swearing they can’t draw a stick figure will walk out ready to frame their canvas.
And do it for other hosts too. When someone in your world books her first party or sells her first kit, be the one throwing your arms up toward the sky. Her win doesn’t take a single thing away from you.
Cheering is free. It’s also contagious. The hosts who cheer the loudest tend to have the most people cheering back.
What I Finally Figured Out
I think about that guy driving off in his golf cart a lot.
His shot was good. But it was a normal good shot. Straight down the middle. People hit those every day.
What made it the best shot of his morning was the voice standing next to him.
That’s what I want for you while you build this. A clipboard friend and a let-me-talk friend in your corner. And on the hard days, your own voice standing on the grass with both arms in the air.
Even on the days your corner feels empty, it isn’t.
There was a day early on when I felt like I was on the ground, done for, count me out. Then it was like God scooped me up and said, “It’s going to be okay.”
We’re never truly alone in this. Friends get busy, and some days your own voice is the loudest one against you. God has been in my corner through every single one of those days. He’s in yours too.
Build Your Corner on Purpose
That golfer’s friend didn’t hit the shot for him. He just made sure a good shot didn’t go unnoticed. And that guy drove off feeling like a million bucks.
The right people do that for your business. They make the hard days lighter and the good days even better.
Your business is going to have plenty of shots that land in the trees. That’s just part of building something.
What matters is who’s standing next to you when it happens. Make sure they’re the kind of people who help you find your ball and cheer you on for the next swing.